A life update. | dragonteach's Blog

I decided it might be a good thing to update what has been going on with me. And one thing I haven't mentioned in all this time, at least that is what a few of you have said, is that I was in the hospital for a mental illness.  This was months ago and I am in a program which is helping me to learn to cope better and become independent.  So, I am doing rather well most of the time.  Lately, I have found myself very happy.  I have put together a happiness journal in which I put down what has made me happy throughout the day.  Every day I have several different things I can say have made me happy.  And some of it is the people I have here on EP.  So many of you do things to get me smiling, I couldn't possibly stay too depressed for more than a week or so.  I have gotten some distressful news today.  One of my dear EP friends has gone to the hospital with a severe heart attack.  As of right now he is in the hospital still uncouncious.  I know there isn't anything I can do except send healing thoughts his way.  So, that is what I am doing hoping he will be well again. 

Today has been a weird sort of day for me other than getting that bad news.  I forced myself to go out in the cold to do some shopping.  I walked across to the stores in this plaza.  It is so cold out there with the wind, I could hardly breath.  But, I made it to the first store I wanted to go into.  It happened to be a clothing store that is going out of business.  It is hard for me to find good clothes in my size in my price range.  So, I took advantage of it today.  I bought three pairs of different colored jeans and three tops to go with them, plus a bra that originally would have cost around $40 and the total for all of it was only $40.  I love it when I can get such great bargains.  I have never had expensive clothes like this before.  I mean the original prices on all of this stuff is more than I would have ever paid.  I would never pay $40 for a bra, I don't care if it was covered n gold.  But, when it is priced $4 I didn't mind at all.  And it is a beautiful one at that.  Sitting here wearing it with no shirt on, I really like how it holds me up.  And then I went to a craft store a little farther on and bought a few things I have been wanting and a few things I happened to see.  So, my shopping was a great success.  Then I had to walk back home into the arctic wind.  Took my breath away.  And with the cold, the artheritis in my hip and lower back get hurting very badly.  So, I was glad to get back to the warm apartment with my goodies.  Then, not to long after that, I have to go to the pulmonologist.  Been having problems breathing and sleeping.  Plus, I was told I have a black spot on my lung that needs to be watched over.  So, the wonderful doctor, and I do mean wonderful, asked a few questions, gave me a few things to read and told me I have COPD or emphesima.  And I have sleep apnea.  But, to be sure, I get to have a few tests done.  So, add a lung condition to the rest of my ailments.  And more medicine, I have two inhalers now.  When I travel now I look like I am a pharmacy.  Need a suitcase just for the medications.  And of course he wants me to loose weight, which I agree with.  And I have to stay away from certain foods for a while as well.  I figure it is just one more thing to deal with and let it roll off my back.  No worries right now.  So, that is where I am in a nut shell, not the nut house again.  Except where ever I live can be considered the nut house.  Keep smiling and thinking good thoughts. 

This is funny.  I was so busy talking about today, I didn't mention what a wonderful day I had yesterday.  I had a wonderful male visitor.  The first one in a very long time.  We had a great time together.  I loved what he did for me.  And how much attention he gave me.  This might sound funny when talking about a stranger I had sex with but he is kind and considerate of my feelings and needs.  I spent the day with a huge smile on my face, as well as last night and all day today.  And every so often, I would moan under my breath with a memory of what he did yesterday, that is how good it was.  So, I had a great time yesterday, so I could hold onto the memories while I go through a few sad times. 

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